Hi! I’m Jules, a writer and freelance consultant based in San Francisco. I discovered my love for writing during my struggle with chronic illness.

My weekly newsletter includes low effort tools and tidbits that enriched my life during a very dark time. My hope is that each newsletter makes your life just a touch sweeter. I also share longer form, personal essays.

For now, find more on my journey below. Thank you for finding your way here.

My journey

My knees ached and my hands shook as I sat in prayer. This had become a habit, pleading with myself, or whoever was listening.

“Please give me the energy to figure out what I want to do with my life. To return to my old self — she was curious, and energetic, and much more hardworking. Or at least help me get out of the house.”

It was 2022 — and I was very sick.

A year before, I got covid for the first time. I was extremely sick, but after only two weeks, I thought, “I’m supposed to feel better by now” and “a lot of people had it much worse than I did.” So I went back to work (remotely). The next day, I was in the hospital.

This was the start of a long journey of long covid (and a few other related illnesses) that completely halted my life.

Out on disability leave, my recovery became my full time job. I took it as seriously as I had taken my job as a management consultant.

I used my precious hours of energy on research and outreach. I read every article, saw every specialist. Looked for guidance in medicine and astrology and reddit. I removed toxins from my diet and plastics from my home. I did a clinical trial. I tried to optimize, maximize, systematize my recovery.

Basically, I approached my illness the same way I had approached my life before. With precision and obsession and an unrelenting belief that, “if only I worked a little harder” I’d reach my goal.

My intentions were good, but the outcomes disastrous. I grew more and more sick and anxious about being sick. When you only have a few good hours a day, it’s a waste to spend them all on routines and practices in an effort to optimize your life. These practices should be a means to an end (your life, your joy, your fill-in-the-blank). Not the end itself.

When I let all of this go, when I loosened my grip on my recovery, I actually started to feel better. But I felt a little guilty, like I was cheating. My mindset felt counter to what is preached in so many bestsellers and on hit podcasts.

Here’s what I believe: there is a place for all of that content, but you don’t actually always have to try your hardest at everything. You don’t need to spend every waking hour like a monk or a founder of a unicorn or whoever to have a life worth living. In fact, I think the opposite is true.

I learned a lot. Including a love for writing. I wish I hadn’t had to get sick to learn these things, but the truth is, I did. Shit happens. I want to share what has been impactful to me, the low effort tools and mindsets and stories that made and enriched my recovery.

I don’t want you to optimize your life, I want you to deepen it.

With sweetness,
Jules

PS: I want to be really clear about one thing. Many people are still living and struggling with long covid and other chronic and often invisible illnesses. I know that these physical symptoms are real. I don’t know why I recovered — I truly believe my mindset helped but I know time and luck and other unseen factors played a part. I have so much gratitude. My heart goes out to the millions that are still in the depths of their illness without a light at the end of the tunnel.

If you’d like to learn more or offer support, check out The Solve Long Covid Initiative or Long Covid Families (or let me know of another organization you’ve found).